Gerald Rogers got divorced after 16 years of
marriage. Recently he wrote a eye-opening public confession on his blog...
after I saw it, I'm totally with him. He writes:
''MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD:
Obviously, I'm not a relationship expert. But
there's something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me
perspective of things I wish I would have done different... After losing a
woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here's the advice I wish
I would have had...
1)
Never stop courting.
Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for
granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that
would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and
sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget
that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.
2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART.
Just as you committed to being the protector of
her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself
fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where
no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive
her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.
3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again.
You will constantly change. You're not the same
people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the
same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose
each other everyday. SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don't take
care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out
completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her
love just as you did when you were courting her.
4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her.
Focus only on what you love. What you focus on
will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be
bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can't help but be consumed by love.
Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know
without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as
your wife.
5)
IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER...
Your job is to love her as she is with no
expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes,
whether it's what you wanted or not.